I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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