You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
