idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
