We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you traded sex for a burrito?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
