omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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