Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
