I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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