my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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