I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
