They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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