im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
