I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
