i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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