I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
