it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
