I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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