It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
