it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
