I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
