i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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