Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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