Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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