Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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