Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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