I hate your face
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Randomize
