i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
And then he peed in my hair
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