My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
