she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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