You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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