I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
