It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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