Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
