You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
