I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
