drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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