My hand turned me down
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
50% drunk capacity currently
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
