I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
