the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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