is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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