Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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