after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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