I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
