plz talk dirty to me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
