are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
