I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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