if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
