when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
