I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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