We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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