Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
