god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
