Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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