last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
