I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
