yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
