We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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