I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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