Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
