i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
