For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
