And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
